Looking Back

As I was creating my blog website, I started thinking about what photos I wanted to include on my photo page. For much of the past 17 years, I have tried to remain behind the lens of the camera and not as the subject in front of the lens. I absolutely hated how I looked in pictures. So, it is a pretty difficult thing for me to sit down and go through pictures to find something I am willing to post for everyone to see! Not only that, but it’s also hard to find many with me in them since I was the one taking the pictures. Lol

And now, looking back, I can really see just how overweight I truly was! Perhaps it’s a good thing to look back now and then, because I don’t ever want to go back to the place I was and be the overweight, unhealthy, unhappy person that I see in these photos. I want to continue on towards my goal and be the happier, healthier person I now see in the mirror every morning. In order to do that, I need to remind myself it’s all about choices. I can choose to put healthy food into my body, or I can choose unhealthy. I can choose to stick to my diet plan and reach my goal quicker, or I can choose to cheat a little and slow down the progress. Also, what typically happens when you cheat or do something you shouldn’t do? Guilt sets in! I am through with feeling guilty! I don’t want to disappoint God, myself, or those who are watching me on my journey. I don’t want to give satisfaction to those who are waiting for me to fall. Those who say it’ll never work for a lifetime. 

So tonight, when I fix dinner for my family and I make them yummy French Dip Sandwiches, I am going to savor my small bites of roast beef by itself, soaking in all of the flavor in each bite. Because I know that my current diet is not forever. I had a French dip sandwich before beginning this current round and it didn’t cause me to gain! I choose to “eat clean” for the present day, so that one day sooner I can enjoy a treat like that without bad consequences and without guilt. Most of the problem lies between our ears… our minds tell us we “need” something when in reality it is a “want” not a need. I’ve even experienced my mind telling me I’m hungry, but when I really think about it and am honest with myself, it’s not truly hunger, I just want to eat! I like the taste of food, I like the texture of food, I like all the different flavors of food. I still get to eat tasty, flavorful food right now so I can choose to enjoy what I have or pine for what I can’t.

With these thoughts in mind I can post these photos (Click on the Photos Tab under my welcome message) on the web for all of you to see. I am not the woman I used to be. I am thankful that God is transforming, not only my body, but also my mind, into a better person!